Another Christmas Without You – Prologue, Chapters 1 & 2

PROLOGUE

When I was a small child, hair damp from a bubble bath and cotton nightgown carelessly pulled over my head and lanky arms, I’d snuggle under my pink chenille bedspread, Bedtime Bear hugged tightly to my chest, and I’d sigh in contentment as Dad told me the story of a beautiful Native American princess named Waconda who lived in our valley many moons before. My bedroom was shadowed in the faint glow cast from a single nightlight, and Dad would stretch out his long limbs beside me, his huge feet hanging over the edge of my tiny twin mattress. As Dad recounted the tale, he transformed from a simple farmer into a master storyteller, his face lively and his hands animated. I closed my eyes and pictured every nuance, every detail of the Legend of Waconda splashed in vivid hues across my mind, the story I never tired of hearing … the story I begged him to tell me over and over and over again.

Waconda was the daughter of Chief Mansotan of the Cheyenne tribe, and her beauty and intelligence were known throughout the land. Because of this Waconda was desired by young chiefs and warriors who sought her hand in marriage and wooed her father with gifts of ponies, colorful beads and buffalo robes. Chief Mansotan sent away the suitors because he’d promised Waconda she could pick her own mate. She chose Chillotan, a brave warrior who was skillful, strong and won her heart.

In the valley where the Cheyenne lived there was a natural spring whose water was revered by the Native Americans for its healing properties. Waconda was taught that the Great Spirit, who gave to the world all its beauty and delights, was present in the waters of the spring, and with bowed head and heart she worshipped at that liquid shrine as devoutly as any Christian.

After Waconda chose Chillotan to be her mate, but before they were married, the Sioux from the north invaded the hunting grounds of the Cheyenne, and all of the warriors from the village joined the fight, including Chillotan. Waconda promised Chillotan that at every sunset she would walk to the spring, make an offering to the Great Spirit and pray for the success of her tribe and the return of her lover.

Days passed and news from the north was devastating as the Cheyenne were driven from their hunting grounds by the Sioux. Waconda was faithful to her word, visiting the spring every sunset to pray. When the war ended word arrived that Chillotan had been killed in the battle. That evening Waconda left the village and as usual went to the spring, but this time she did not return. It was said that in her distress and grief she threw herself into the spring to join Chillotan in the Great Beyond. The natives believed the Spirit of Waconda resided in the waters, and thus the Legend of Waconda was born.

It seems a sad and tragic story to share with a child, but I was fascinated with the kind of love that could drive a person insane with its loss. I was so enamored with Waconda that I often asked Dad to tell me her story, and then I’d lie in the dark and wonder if I’d ever love someone that deeply.

I did. With all my heart.

Then, like Waconda, I lost my lover in tragedy. Sorrow, grief and anger crowded my heart and threatened to cease its beating. I didn’t care if my heart shriveled up or exploded into a thousand tiny pieces. Like Waconda, I was insane with loss and ready to fling myself into the spring to join my love in the Great Beyond. I’m not sure what kept me from doing it.

For years afterward I dreamt of Waconda and the spring she revered. In my dream she was suspended in midair over the silent water as if in flight, arms out at her sides like the wings of an airplane. Her lustrous hair, the color of a raven, flowed in a gentle breeze, and she smiled right before she fell into the spring, its waters icy cold. She didn’t flail about or fight to save herself, and her bronze eyes remained open, exuding peace as she floated gently downward. When she reached the bottom, her hands fell together over her heart and her eyes closed one last time.

As I gazed at Waconda I would slowly come to the realization that I was in the water next to her, and this sent me into a panic as my lungs begged for oxygen. I fought to push off the bottom of the spring toward the surface, but my legs wouldn’t move because they were frozen solid. I flailed wildly about, straining with my arms to gain momentum upward as I gulped ice-cold water into my lungs, but my arms were leaden and chilled to the bone. As the futility of the situation settled into my heart I realized I was going to die.

This is the moment I’d wake drenched in sweat and hyperventilating, gasping for air then drawing huge breaths into my lungs. It was just a dream, it was just a dream, I’d repeat like a mantra until I was fully awake and aware of the fact that I was in my warm, cozy bed and not frozen at the bottom of Waconda Springs.

It’s fascinating how human beings can compartmentalize in order to survive. Tragedies too difficult to bear are often filed and locked away, yet the horrifying memories and painful feelings are always right there, just under the surface. We choose to forget, and we wear the facade of control, but we’re not in control. One person or event can pull away the veil, leaving us exposed and raw.

Ten years ago, I suffered a tragedy that rocked me to my core. Months later, in order to survive, I buried this awful day and moved on. It was either that or waste away in my childhood bedroom which, I can tell you, was quite tempting but not realistic.

The pain, anger and resentment were buried as well, and to keep them hidden I stayed busy. Forgiveness wasn’t even on the radar; I would no sooner forgive than cut off my right hand. When memories surfaced I pushed them down; when feelings chased me, I took up running; when loneliness threatened I hugged a friend.

My strategy for survival was working: I was coping; I was dealing; I was getting by.

That was all about to end.

I can tell you this much: I was in no way prepared for what was to come.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 14, 2017

Chapter 1

When my phone’s alarm went off at 5 am I had no way of knowing that in a few hours I would meet both my past and my future in one person.

I rolled over and grabbed the phone off the nightstand, tapped the STOP button to blessedly end the alarm’s annoying tune and dropped it onto the white plush comforter. Groaning, I fell back into the softness of my pillow-top mattress and pledged that today would be the day I actually changed the alarm to a pleasant tune.

I rubbed my eyes, ran fingers through my tangled hair and fantasized about sleeping until noon. Lord, I was tired. I rolled onto my side, pulled the comforter under my chin and wondered if I could stay in bed all day and ignore my caffeine-dependent customers. They could make their own coffee, right? In their own homes? Maybe eat some heart-healthy oatmeal instead of the sugar-laden confectionary delights I sold them?

It was an argument I had with myself every morning at 5 am, and ultimately my need for income always won out over my need for sleep. This day was no different. As one of my favorite sayings goes, First I drink the coffee, then I do the things.

I sighed, sat up and turned on the bedside lamp, squinting as my eyes adjusted to the sudden source of light. I stretched out my legs and assessed the damage from my two-mile jog the day before: my right hip was a little tight and my left calf muscle was sore but, overall, not bad for a woman who would celebrate her 37th birthday the next day.

Sleep had eluded me again — I fought demons in nightmares, changed sleep positions what seemed like every five minutes and checked the clock multiple times to see if I’d dozed at all. When was the last time I’d slept through the night? I couldn’t remember.

I forced myself to leave the warm cocoon of my bed and flinched when my bare feet touched the chilly hardwood floor. I stood, reached my arms toward the ceiling and bent over to touch my toes, which I was proud to say I could still do. I rubbed my right elbow and upper arm in an attempt to work out the kinks that I knew would never work out.

I shuffled to the small bathroom where I glared at the dark circles under my eyes, then brushed the knots out of my long, unremarkably brown hair and pulled it into a messy bun on top of my head, securing it with a ponytail and several bobby pins. The cold water I splashed on my face was all I could manage since I didn’t have time to wait ten minutes for the hot water to reach the sink. I grabbed the hand towel and dabbed at my face, then smoothed on a thick layer of moisturizer.

In the living room I grabbed the remote and turned on the television to see if the world had imploded while I was trying to sleep. My favorite meteorologist, a handsome, clean-cut guy I’d nicknamed Cutie Boy Ross, gestured to a weather map of Kansas that filled the screen behind him. “If you’re dreaming of a White Christmas, it’s on the way to the sunflower state. An arctic air mass will drop into the U.S. from Canada tomorrow, and the system will dump up to three feet of snow across Kansas beginning early Saturday morning.” He smiled at the camera as computer-generated snowflakes floated across the map. “Snow prediction is highly volatile and it’s difficult to tell how long the front will remain stagnant, but we expect it to pull out of the area late on Sunday and to see some sun by Monday morning.”

Ross smiled at his viewers, and if any teenage girls had been awake at that ungodly hour they would have sighed and clutched their chests. Ross continued: “Temperatures aren’t expected to climb above freezing for several weeks and this means the snow will hang around through Christmas.” He clapped his hands and grinned in delight. “Get out those sleds, kids, and find a big hill … snow is on the way!”

In the closet I halfway listened to the news and donned my standard work fare — skinny jeans, an oversized white V-neck T-shirt and navy blue bandana that I rolled into a headband to keep the hair out of my eyes and the customers’ food and drinks. I tied the bandana at the base of my neck as I walked back into the bathroom.

Makeup for work was simple and fast. Foundation melted under the steam of an espresso machine, so I skipped the base makeup, brushed on neutral eye shadow, lined my eyes and then applied black mascara, rosy blush and pink lip gloss. I noticed a pimple forming on my chin and, after close examination, once again marveled that a woman my age could still sprout acne. I glared at the dark circles again, one of the myriad side effects of sleeping like a newborn baby. I find it ironic that when people sleep well they say they slept like a baby — any baby I’ve ever known wakes up several times during the night crying for one reason or another. I’d rather sleep like a teenager, oblivious to the outside world and unconscious until at least noon.

I walked over to my bed and laughed at the chaos: it looked like two raccoons had been trapped and tried to battle their way out. I picked up my phone and slipped it into my back jeans pocket as I tugged the sheet and comforter into position, then I tucked the sheet in tightly at the bottom of the mattress, fluffed the pillows and readied the bed for another go at sleep that night.

I stopped at the nightstand and reached into the heart-shaped ceramic dish that held my only jewelry — diamond earrings and a pendant necklace with a blue sapphire stone at its center surrounded by five delicate diamonds in the shape of a flower. I inserted the earrings and secured the necklace at the base of my neck, then lifted the pendant to my lips for several seconds as my eyes closed in a silent prayer. With a deep sigh I walked into the closet where I grabbed socks and a pair of red Skechers from my ridiculously large collection of athletic shoes. Did my shoes mate and have families while I was at work?

Satisfied that the world had survived another night, I turned off the TV and walked to the door that served as both my front and back entrance — in fact, the only entrance and exit unless I jumped out of a window. Sitting on the small blue bench I’d found at a yard sale the summer before, I pulled on my socks and shoes. I stood and slipped into my heavy gray coat, grabbed a set of keys off the hook by the door and headed out to work.

Here’s the advantage to living above your place of business: the commute is a piece of cake. I ran down the stairs, taking care not to slip on the ice that usually formed during the night when winter set in. Once I reached the back door on the ground level I unlocked the dead bolt with one key, the doorknob with another key and grinned at the Bree Brews It Coffeehouse & Cafe sign painted in white block letters on the bright red door.

I stepped inside and flipped on the four switches by the back door. As the large space filled with light, I sighed in satisfaction. I really love my coffee shop.

If I’d made such a statement in grade school some young punk would have laughed in my face. “If you love it so much, why don’t you marry it?” Back then I would have stomped off in embarrassment but today I’d just smile and say, “Good idea. I think I’ll marry my coffee shop!”

I shut the door, shrugged out of my coat and hung it on a rack in the corner. My key ring was relegated to its usual spot over an old nail in the limestone wall. I shivered and turned the heat up to 70. Grabbing an apron, I slipped it over my head and tied it at the waist, then I scrubbed my hands with soap for twenty seconds per the directions of the esteemed Kansas Department of Health. At the prep sink I filled two large pitchers with water which I carried one at a time to the self-serve coffee bar at the front of the building.

I opened the lids of the double coffee brewers and my right elbow cried in protest when I lifted the pitchers and filled the water reservoirs. I wondered what I’d do when my elbow finally gave out on me. I scooped generous amounts of ground coffee beans into the filters, one a dark roast and the other a breakfast blend. After I slipped the filter baskets into place I turned both sides of the machine to ON, held my breath and listened as it whirred to life. I crossed my fingers and studied the cantankerous old machine until I was certain the coffee was, indeed, brewing. I exhaled in relief. Three months earlier the old broad had refused to brew the coffee, and the catastrophe was dubbed The Great Coffee Debacle by my regulars who think they’re all comedians. The non-caffeinated masses were not happy, and they teased me mercilessly for months. I gently patted the side of the massive machine. “Good girl.”

I made my way to the refrigerator where I pulled out a stainless steel server filled with milk and a bowl of half-and-half containers which I carried to the coffee bar and set in their usual spots. I examined the supply of white ceramic coffee cups, to-go cups and lids, packets of sugar, creamer and coffee stirrers, and then I reached under the counter for more coffee cups. Satisfied that the self-serve coffee bar was ready for action, I turned to my other early-morning tasks. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was 5:40. Jim would be here soon.

I walked back to the granite island behind the front counter and checked to see that the espresso machine was filled with water, the only prep work necessary since I kept it immaculately clean. In the kitchen at the back of the building I emptied the dishwasher and carried a tray full of white ceramic coffee cups to the island, stacking them next to the espresso machine.

In the supply closet I grabbed a package of to-go cups and lids, set them on the island near the espresso machine and poured coffee beans into the grinder. I filled the hot water dispenser that was used to make cocoa, and I turned on the iced tea maker/dispenser I’d prepped the day before. It continued to astonish me that customers actually ordered iced tea in the middle of winter, but they did. I was ready for the drinkers of the world … or at least the Waconda Lake area.

I heard pounding on the back door, a sure sign that Jim had arrived. I looked at the clock — 5:45 and on time as usual. I hurried to the back, opened the door and found him balancing four boxes in his ample hands.

“Good morning!” Jim charged through the door to the island where he ceremoniously set the boxes down. His black Sweet Eats Bakery T-shirt was strained at its seams and his ample belly did its best to stay concealed. “There you go, my lady.” He grinned and struck a Price is Right model pose to show off the large white bakery boxes.

I looked down at him and shook my head. “Still refusing to wear a coat, huh?”

“Why? Is it cold outside?”

“I guess not for studs like you.” I lifted the top box, set it on the counter and, as I opened its lid, the tantalizing aroma of fresh glazed doughnuts hit my nostrils. “They look and smell amazing, as usual.” I couldn’t resist; I lifted one from the container and bit into the soft dough, sighing as the sweet pastry and gooey glaze melted together in my mouth. “Tastes even better!”

Jim laughed and set his order book on the counter, pulled a pen out of his jeans pocket and grinned. “You’re looking more beautiful than ever. Are you doing something new with your hair?” He was an unapologetic flirt.

I slapped his arm. “I can’t believe you noticed. I just had some highlights put in.”

“Well, a smart man pays attention.” He winked and leaned against the counter. “You really should model, you know. I could sell a lot more doughnuts if you’d let me put your picture on the side of my truck.”

I smiled as I shoved another bite in my mouth. “You certainly have a way of making me feel good about myself at six in the morning … even if it involves doughnuts.”

“Offer always stands. Put a pretty woman with any product and sales skyrocket. It’s good business, pure and simple.”

I finished off the doughnut and wiped my hands on my apron. “I’ll keep that in mind if I ever get sick of peddling coffee.”

He chuckled and picked up his order book. “I’ll hold you to it.” Pleasantries over, Jim turned serious. “Okay. I need to double check your order for tomorrow.”

I nodded. “The birthday cupcakes.”

“Yep.” He thumbed through his order book until he reached the right page. “You ordered 200 cupcakes, correct? We just need to double check before we bake them this afternoon.”

“That’s right.”

Jim smiled and shook his head. “You certainly do spoil your customers with free cupcakes on your birthday.”

“It’s part of my master plan to keep them buying coffee.”

“Well, it must be working.” Jim studied his order pad. “Okay. I’ve got down 200 chocolate fudge cupcakes with hot pink buttercream frosting and silver sprinkles?”

“Yep.”

He looked up and grinned. “We’ll get ‘er done and deliver in the morning along with your usual Friday order.”

I shook my head. “Since most of my customers will eat a free cupcake tomorrow I won’t need as many doughnuts and pastries.”

Jim held his pen over the order book. “Okay. How many are you thinking then?”

I crossed my arms and considered for a moment. “Why don’t you just bring half of my normal Friday order.”

Jim scribbled in his order pad. “Okey dokey. Sounds like a plan.” He turned to leave but stopped and studied me. “So which birthday will this one be?”

“Thirty-seven.” I marveled that I was just three years shy of 40.

Jim tapped his chest. “You’re just a bit younger than me, then. I’ll be forty in May.”

“It’s weird getting older, isn’t it?”

He frowned. “I always say it beats the alternative. I’d rather be looking at the grass than the roots.” He pointed at me. “It’s just a number.”

I laughed at his logic. “You’re right. I’ll try to remember that.”

“By the way, I’m taking next week off, so Justin will be running my delivery route.”

I leaned against the counter. “Are you flying up to Canada again?”

“Yep. Same old trip. My brother and a group of friends are heading up to British Columbia to fly fish.” He slipped the order pad into a back pocket and crossed his thick arms. “I’m not much of a fisherman but it’s beautiful up there. The guys reel ‘em in and I cook ‘em. Delicious! And the beer is great.”

“Will you be back for Christmas?”

“Yep. We fly home on the twenty-third.” He saluted me and turned to go. “Always a pleasure, Miss Bree. I’m off. See you in the morning.” With a slam of the door he was gone.

I carried the boxes of baked goods to the front counter where I set them down and slid open the glass doors of the bakery display case. I pulled out four large trays that held the confectionary delights, as I liked to call them, and set aside three glazed doughnuts and two banana nut muffins left over from the day before. I carried the empty trays back to the kitchen where I washed and dried them, then returned to the front counter and arranged glazed doughnuts, chocolate-filled doughnuts, long johns, blueberry, banana and chocolate chip muffins, plain and blueberry bagels and croissants into even rows. I slid these into the display case and closed the doors.

At the dark walnut console table near the front door I turned on the shop’s satellite radio and jumped when “Ice Ice Baby” blasted from the speakers, clear evidence that “90s on 9” was tuned in. I turned down the volume and smiled; the song was fitting for such a frigid day, but I was craving Christmas music, so I turned to the “Holiday Traditions” channel and grinned when Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” filled the old limestone building.

In desperate need of caffeine, I walked to the self-serve coffee bar where I grabbed an extra-large ceramic mug that read “Life Happens. Coffee Helps.” from my extensive collection and filled it with dark roast coffee, added sugar and milk, stirred it twice and sighed as the rich liquid slid down my throat. I relished this quiet time before my customers rolled in; the smell of coffee and bakery confections swirled together in the air and became its own intoxicating aroma. I gulped the coffee like it was my last drink before I was led to the electric chair.

I walked to the front door and unlocked it, then turned the CLOSED sign to OPEN. I picked up the sidewalk sign that was leaning against the wall inside the door and carried it over to the front counter. I erased yesterday’s lunch special and wrote in white chalk on both sides: TODAY’S LUNCH SPECIAL: Sloppy Joe, Potato Salad, Homemade Cookie – $6.99. CHERRY PIE. PUMPKIN PIE. I drew holly and berries with green and red chalk, carried the sign outside and set it up on the sidewalk.

I shivered in the brisk morning air and gazed across the street at the Town Square decorated for Christmas: strings of bright lights, greenery and red bows cheered up the dreary winter landscape. The largest evergreen in the park was circled in multi-colored lights with a flashing star on top. An inflatable Santa Claus driving a motorcycle winked back at me, and the plastic manger scene on the corner was missing its donkey, most likely the result of a teenage prank. It would show up eventually.

The electronic sign on the bank announced that the temperature was 26 degrees. The air smelled cold, if cold has a smell, and my breath turned to fog. The bare tree limbs and grass in the park begged for a covering of white, and I hoped Cutie Boy Ross was right about snow this weekend. Winter was in need of a makeover.

I pushed open the front door and walked inside followed by Rich and Dave, who made a beeline for the coffee bar and helped themselves.

Rich spoke first. “Morning, Bree.”

Dave mumbled his greeting. “Morning, Bree.”

I leaned against the limestone wall by the coffee bar. “Good morning, guys. What’s the news today?”

Rich grabbed a coffee cup and filled it with the dark roast. He liked it black, no frills. “Snow’s coming. Get out your long johns!”

I laughed. “Oh, they’re out; I layer up when I go for a run. Yeah, I heard on the news this morning that snow is definitely coming.”

“Did Cutie Boy Ross tell you that?” Rich grinned and gulped at his coffee.

I shook my head and chuckled. “I will always regret telling you my nickname for the weatherman.”

He nodded in agreement. “You really should know better than to reveal your secrets around here.”

“Don’t plan on going anywhere this weekend.” Dave issued his warning sober-faced. He dropped two dollar bills into the change basket and fished out change. “They say we could get up to three feet.”

I crossed my arms. “I thought snow was the hardest weather to predict.”

Dave rolled his eyes and filled his cup with the breakfast blend, then added three packets of sugar and two creamers. He stirred it slowly. “That’s what the weathermen say so they don’t get caught with their pants down. They’re just covering their…”

Rich interrupted. “Watch your language. We have a lady present.”

Dave looked around the coffee shop as if searching for something. “Where?”

I playfully slapped him on the shoulder. “Watch yourself, now.”

Rich slurped his coffee and sat down at one of the tables I bought at an auction and refinished myself. “With this drought we’re in the wheat could really use a drink.”

Dave joined him with his coffee, sank into a chair and pointed outside. “Rain or snow, we’ll take it however we can get it. We’re not picky.”

“Well, I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.” I sipped at the strong coffee and noticed my cup was almost empty.

“So, you’re one of those, huh?” Dave was smiling. “Just like my wife — a romantic at heart.” His eyes softened and he gazed out the window. “Her favorite movie is ‘White Christmas’.”

I refilled my cup and added hazelnut creamer. “I love that one too.” I sat down and swallowed some of the hot liquid. “We don’t get snow like we used to. I was just thinking about how the kids around here barely know what snow is — let alone how to play in it. Do they even know how to build a snowman or sled down a hill?”

Rich nodded in agreement. “I know what you mean. When we were kids it would snow six, eight feet, easy. We’d have snowball fights and build snowmen and make snow tunnels. God, it was fun.” He smiled at the memory.

Dave leaned his elbows on the table. “We played Duck-Duck-Goose and made snow angels.”

My eyebrows shot up. “You made snow angels? I can’t imagine.”

“I was young and sweet once, young lady, until life kicked me in the…”

Rich interrupted again. “Watch yourself, Dave.”

“I know, I know. There’s a lady present.” He sauntered over to the coffee bar and refilled his cup.

“It’s okay, Dave. I’ve never considered myself a lady.”

Rich placed his hand on my arm and gently squeezed. “You are definitely a lady. And without you we’d be making our own coffee every morning. You’re an angel.”

“Yeah, a coffee angel.” Dave sat back down and grinned.

“Well, don’t tell anyone, but you guys are my favorite customers.”

The men high-fived and Dave squinted at me. “Will you put our picture on the wall? Customers of the Month. Better yet, Customers of the Year!”

“I said it was a secret so don’t go opening your big mouth.” I pointed at Dave who pulled an imaginary key out of his pocket and locked his lips together.

The bell over the front door rang and Brice stepped inside. Thrilled to see him, I jumped to my feet and he walked straight over, grabbed me in a bear hug and lifted me clear off the ground, one of the few men who actually could. “Morning, Sis.”

I managed to return his greeting even though it was hard to draw breath while being squeezed so tightly by my big brother. He set me down, and as he ran fingers through his messy dark hair I noticed that Brice’s brown eyes were bloodshot, a coating of stubble shaded his face and the white T-shirt under his coat was as wrinkled as a Shar Pei puppy. He looked like hell on a bad day. “God, I need an espresso. A double.”

I made my way to the espresso machine behind the front counter as a group of regulars walked in and gathered at the coffee bar. Brice followed me, and I smiled in sympathy. “You look exhausted. Rough night?”

He leaned on the counter and dropped his head. “Lord, yes. Nate had a nightmare and couldn’t get back to sleep so I let him get in bed with us and that was a huge mistake! He kicked me all night. That kid is a wild sleeper. I already feel sorry for his future wife.”

I laughed as a picture formed in my mind of Brice’s five-year-old son kicking the daylights out of him. “I bet he slept okay.”

Brice nodded. “Oh yeah. He was out like a light when I finally gave up and came here. I left Caitlin a note that I’d bring her a latte.”

I pulled the porta filter out of the espresso machine, wiped it down with a clean white towel and then held it under the automatic coffee grinder, watching as it filled with ground coffee in a dark, rich color. I leveled it off, tamped the grounds evenly, cleaned the rim and slid the filter into the espresso machine until it locked. I flushed the water in the machine, set a cup under the dispenser, turned on the machine and watched as the espresso was extracted into the cup. When it was almost full I turned off the machine and handed it to Brice who drank it greedily.

“One double espresso for you and I’ll get Caitlin’s drink going. Do you think she wants her usual cinnamon vanilla latte?”

Brice looked up from his drink. “You know it. She’d probably send me back if I brought her a plain latte.”

I laughed. “Well, I don’t want you to get in trouble with your sweet wife.”

Brice shook his head. “She’s not so sweet until she has her coffee.”

“I can relate.” I repeated the process, and as espresso flowed into the to-go cup, I poured whole milk into a stainless steel steaming pitcher, lowered in the steam wand, opened the valve to full power and watched as the milk turned hot and foamy. When the foam was a consistency I was happy with, I turned off the steam valve and swirled the pitcher to combine the foam on top with the milk on the bottom. I turned off the espresso machine, stirred in pure vanilla and poured the steamed milk into the dark coffee, creating a heart design. To finish the drink, I sprinkled cinnamon on top. I snapped on a lid and handed the drink to Brice who gave me his cup, now empty.

“Could you get me another, this one to go? And make it an Americano — but strong.”

I laughed. “Your wish is my command, sir, but be careful driving home.” Brice nodded tiredly as I ground coffee beans for his Americano, extracted the espresso and added hot water. I popped on a lid and handed him the drink. “How about some doughnuts or muffins?”

He nodded toward the display case. “What do you have left from yesterday?”

“Three glazed doughnuts and two banana nut muffins.”

“I’ll take ‘em and throw in another glazed and two blueberry muffins.”

“You got it.” I filled a white to-go box with his order and handed it to him. “It’s on the house, as usual, since you’re my favorite brother.”

“That’s so kind of you considering I’m your only brother.” He set the drinks on top of the box and turned to go but stopped suddenly and came around the counter to where I was standing. “Hey. Have you heard from Ice-T? She hasn’t called Caitlin or me for at least three days.”

My good mood soured. “Yeah, I haven’t heard from her, either. It’s been nice.”

Brice frowned. “Now, Bree, this is Mother you’re talking about.”

“What she does and who she does it with is really none of my concern.” I grabbed a rag and wiped down the clean counter.

His voice was tender. “I know that, but she was so excited about this Alaskan cruise with Hank, and I worry about her. Two weeks is a long time to be gone.”

“Brice, you know Mother can hold her own with anyone. Hank better not cross her, or she’ll run him right off the ship. Make him walk the plank or something.”

Brice chuckled. “Have you heard the radio ads for his used car dealership? They’re hilarious.”

I snorted. “You mean the ads that run every five minutes? Why do you think I switched to satellite radio?”

“I love how he says, ‘Come on down to Castillo Cars — where the customer is king and Honest Hank will give you one whale of a deal.’”

I stared at him. “You have that memorized?”

“I’ve only heard it a hundred times. Unlike the aristocracy, we peasants can’t afford satellite radio.”

I glanced around to make sure no one was listening and then leaned toward Brice. “Before she left Mother said she thought Hank was going to ‘pop the question’ during the cruise.”

He smiled warmly. “You know, he’s not that bad of a guy. It might be good if the ol’ Ice Queen got remarried.”

“I really don’t care one way or the other.” And I didn’t, but then the thought hit me that a union between the two was not without its advantages. “The only good thing to come out of her marrying Hank is that she’d probably move to his mansion in Beloit and you could sweet-talk Caitlin into finally moving out to the farm.”

He shook his head. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

I pointed to the food and drinks in his hands. “You’d better get out of here. I’m sure Caitlin is waiting at the door for her latte.”

“Yeah, I’m going, but if you hear from Mother will you tell her to call me? I just want to know that she’s still alive and hasn’t fallen off the ship into the icy water.”

I snickered. “That would be a funny way for her to go, wouldn’t it?” Brice just stared at me as I explained. “Ice-T? Ice? Icy water? It would be fitting.”

“Whatever, Bree.” Brice hurried to the door, juggling two coffees and the box of goodies. “See you later.”

I called after him. “Tell Caitlin and the boys hello. Enjoy the confectionary delights!” Brice walked out into the cold morning and disappeared from sight.

Conversation and laughter bounced off the walls as my early-morning coffee drinkers speculated on the coming snow, shared tidbits of gossip and teased each other. I walked among the tables taking orders for baked goods, and back at the display case I picked up the plastic tongs and placed four doughnuts, five muffins, two bagels and three croissants on a tray. At the refrigerator I grabbed two packets of cream cheese, picked up a stack of small plates and returned to the front where I handed out the goodies and collected money.

“Bree?” Doris Waverly grabbed my arm as I passed by her chair.

“Morning, Doris. How’s the blueberry muffin?”

“Delicious as always.” Doris turned to look at the woman sitting next to her. “Honey, I want you to meet my sister, Gloria, from Topeka.”

Gloria was definitely Doris’s sister. Something around the mouth and nose was similar, and their light aqua eyes peered curiously from behind wire-rimmed glasses. Their silver hair was cropped short in identical styles, and I wondered how much hair product was required to achieve such volume. The only noticeable difference between the two was their sizes: Gloria was twice as wide as her petite sister.

Doris was still talking. “Gloria is retired like me. She and her husband are on their way to Colorado for Christmas. Their son and grandchildren live there.”

I smiled at Gloria. “Welcome to Waconda. Is this your first time here?”

“Yes. It’s so quaint, what with The Square and all.” She pointed out the window. “It looks like a Hallmark movie.”

I nodded. “I’ve often thought the same thing.

“And your coffee shop.” Gloria gestured excitedly around the room. “It’s so lovely. The Christmas decorations are adorable. Those must be your Santa figurines and ornaments.”

“Guilty as charged.” I looked at the ladder shelf filled with — I counted when I set them up — 23 Santa figurines, and the eight-foot Christmas tree in the front corner by the windows, weighed down with clear twinkle lights, red paper raffia and a dizzying array of Santa Claus ornaments. “I guess it’s pretty obvious I love Santa.”

Gloria giggled. “So do I, honey. You should see my collection.” She pointed at the ladder shelf. “I love that beach Santa holding the surfboard.”

I glanced at the eclectic assortment of Santas standing guard over the store. “That’s one of my favorites too. I was excited when I found the farmer Santa holding a toy tractor; I bought it at an estate auction.”

I bent down and looked Gloria in the eye. “I’ll let you in on a little Santa secret, between collectors. Have you ever noticed that Santa figurines are always holding something?”

Gloria’s stared at me in wonder. “Really?”

I nodded. “It’s rare to find a Santa that isn’t holding at least one thing like a present or a lantern. I’ve decided it’s a law that all inanimate Santas are required to hold something.”

“That’s funny.” Gloria inspected the Santa figurines more closely. “Well, I’ll be darned if you’re not right. I never noticed that, but now I definitely will.”

“You won’t be able to help yourself.”

She grabbed my hand and shook it. “Well, it’s just beautiful in here with the greenery and the twinkle lights and all of the red bows. The smell is absolutely heavenly.”

I smiled warmly. “Thanks. It’s nice of you to notice. When my Aunt Judy walked in after I decorated she said it looked like Christmas threw up in here, but in a tasteful way, of course.”

Doris laughed. “That sounds like Judy.”

“The one and only.” I turned to Gloria. “You have a great Christmas in Colorado.”

She nodded. “I certainly will. And I’ll be back!”

Chapter 2

I was at the espresso machine making a caramel macchiato when Aunt Judy rushed through the back door at 7:08 am, donned an apron and joined me at the front counter.

“How’s it going, Bree?” She grabbed me in one of her famous bear hugs and pulled a chocolate chip muffin from the display case before planting herself on a stool behind the cash register.

I did a double take of her red and green leggings, oversized Santa Claus sweater and Christmas tree earrings. I shook my head and grinned. “It’s all good.” I regaled her with Brice’s sleepless night and his double espresso order.

Aunt Judy chuckled. “That boy must be levitating by now.”

“No doubt.” I passed the macchiato to a young woman waiting at the front counter who handed me four one-dollar bills. I stuffed the money in the cash register and smiled widely. “Thanks and enjoy.” She walked to a table and sat down by herself.

Aunt Judy popped a bite of muffin into her mouth and pointed to the espresso machine. “Would you make me an Americano, honey?”

“Sure.” I looked down at Aunt Judy. “I like your haircut.”

“Really?” She ran her free hand through the blonde strands and doubt filled her plump face. “Did she take off too much? I said ‘bob’ but it feels more like a ‘pixie’.”

I shook my head as I ground coffee and turned on the espresso machine. “No, pixie is really short. That’s definitely a bob, although a short one. It looks good on you.” I topped off the espresso with hot water and handed the cup to Aunt Judy. “What’s Uncle Joe up to?”

She rolled her eyes and sipped at her drink. “He was online shopping for new campers when I left. I swear, since that man retired he does nothing but sit around on his computer. He knows we can’t afford a new camper. And what’s wrong with the one we already have? Worked just fine this past summer, and we camped at the lake almost every weekend.”

“He’s just bored.” I patted her back. “He’ll be more active when the weather warms up. I’ve never met a man who loved to fish more than Uncle Joe.”

“Lord, that’s the truth. But I’m afraid until spring I’ll have him underfoot most days — unless he’s ice fishing, of course.” Aunt Judy finished her muffin, threw the wrapper into the trash and pulled a chocolate-filled doughnut from the display case. She saw me watching her. “What are you looking at, Flagpole? It takes work to keep up my ‘pleasantly plump’ appearance.”

I laughed and turned to wipe down the espresso machine.

The bell over the front door rang and Aunt Judy set down her doughnut and dialed up the charm for the woman who walked to the front counter. “Why hello there, Celia. How are you today?” As Aunt Judy asked a slew of questions about Celia’s health, her husband’s health, her children’s health and her grandchildren’s health — she was overly preoccupied with everyone’s health — I whipped up Celia’s order for a gingerbread latte.

Aunt Judy tucked the payment into the cash register and handed Celia her drink and a blueberry muffin. “You know this drink comes with a warning, right?”

Celia’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

I jumped in. “We had an incident yesterday with one of our Christmas specialty drinks. A woman chugged a peppermint mocha latte, and the sugar rush overwhelmed her frail system. She practically fainted.” I leaned toward Celia. “We called her daughter, and she rushed over and raced her mother to the doctor. She was fine but her daughter asked me not to serve her mother any more sugary drinks, even if she begged.”

Celia nodded her head. “Isabel Compton. Poor thing. I heard about that, but I’ve had this one before. You ladies should know I like to live dangerously. Besides, it’s heaven in a cup!” Celia smiled and joined a table full of other grandmothers.

The next customer ordered an apple pie spice latte, and I was adding the spice mixture to the drink when my cell phone rang. I popped a lid on the to-go cup, handed it to the customer and pulled the phone out of my back pocket. I frowned when I saw who the caller was. Mother.

Remembering Brice’s earlier request I reluctantly answered the phone. “Hello, Mother.”

“Breanne? Is that you? It’s your mother.”

“I know who it is. Your name shows up on my phone whenever you call.” I could never seem to get this concept through her head.

“I’m just calling to let you know that we’re in Juneau and doing fine. The glaciers are magnificent. You should see this place. It’s unbelievable!”

I sighed and leaned against the counter. “I’m glad you’re having a good time.” The lie slipped out easily. “How’s Hank?” I was strangely intrigued by the brackish used car salesman who ordered pineapple juice whenever Mother brought him into the coffee shop.

“Oh, he’s great.” She lowered her voice and whispered. “He hasn’t popped the question yet, but he still has plenty of time … probably planning something elaborate for later in the cruise. I’ll call you the minute he asks me to marry him.”

Like I care, I wanted to say, but of course I didn’t. I stared at the floor, noticing a spot in the hardwood that needed attention.

Mother babbled on at regular volume. “We met a lovely couple from Vancouver who sat next to us at the all-you-care-to-eat seafood buffet. I thought it was interesting how they changed the name from all-you-CAN-eat buffet to all-you-CARE-TO-eat buffet. Did you notice the difference? They were smart to do that because it really is best to just eat all you care to rather than shoving it in until you pop. Of course, Hank ate until he was sick and then…”

The bell over the front door rang and I glanced up as the best-looking man I’d ever seen walked into my coffee shop.

My heart jumped into my throat, my eyes grew huge in my head and I mumbled into the phone. “Sorry, Mother. Gotta go.” I abruptly tapped the END CALL button while she was still talking, tucked the phone into my back pocket and set about looking busy: I wiped the front counter and pretended to check the inventory in the display case, acutely aware of the remarkable man in a black leather coat surveying the room.

Aunt Judy grabbed my arm. “The man who just came in. Have you ever seen him?”

I shook my head. “No.” I would definitely remember a guy like that.

Aunt Judy’s mouth fell open. She pointed and I slapped her finger down before he noticed. “He looks like he walked off the cover of a romance novel.” Her grip on my arm tightened and her voice raised in pitch. “Oh my Lord, a cleft chin. I bet when he smiles he has dimples.” She was stunned. I thought she might swoon herself onto the floor.

Mr. Gorgeous glanced around the room, and when he noticed me his vivid blue eyes registered surprise. The hint of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, and I sensed an inward shyness that belied the confident pose. His raven hair was brushed back and tucked behind well-proportioned ears with neatly-trimmed sideburns. His skin was the shade of a rich summer tan, and a cleanly-shaven jaw was smooth and pronounced. I noticed that his nose was slightly crooked in the middle but, strangely, this only added to his incredible looks. Gorgeous cerulean eyes were hooded with laugh lines in the corners, and he exuded charm and elegance. I could smell the culture and breeding oozing out of him. I had never in my life seen such a striking man, and in my state of shock I was worried I’d forget how to verbalize the English language.

Our visitor walked to the front counter and looked up at the menu. I stuck my hands in the pockets of my apron and mentally donned a mask of cool detachment.

Aunt Judy launched into her professional mode. “Good morning, sir. How are you today?”

“Very well, thank you.” He smiled with even, white teeth, which produced dimples in both cheeks. Aunt Judy turned around, winked and mouthed, I told you so. I glanced at his beautiful face and my own dimple-free cheeks blushed with warmth.

She turned back to the front counter. “What can we get for you?”

“I’m not sure. What do you suggest?”

Aunt Judy ran through her new-customer gamut. “The coffee bar is over there.” She gestured to the south wall. “It’s self-serve with two popular coffee blends. That’s for people who like regular ol’ coffee.” He glanced toward the coffee bar and back at Judy.

“And then right here we can make you any of our specialty espresso drinks that are listed on the menu.” She pointed up at the chalkboard sign hanging overhead. “Bree here, that’s the owner, makes those.” She turned her plump index finger toward me even though I was the only other person behind the counter. “We also have doughnuts and pastries. Oh, and I almost forgot, for the month of December we’re offering gingerbread and peppermint mocha lattes. People love them but they come with a warning because of all the sugar.” She gave him one of her sweet, grandmotherly smiles.

Mr. Gorgeous smiled back. “You’re very helpful. Thank you.” He looked up at the menu again. “I think I’ll have a honey cinnamon cappuccino and a blueberry muffin.”

Aunt Judy nodded in agreement. “Good choice. Will that be for here or to go?”

“For here, please.”

She turned to me. “Bree, the gentleman would like a honey cinnamon cappuccino.” She winked twice and moved to the display case where she grabbed the tongs and placed a blueberry muffin on a white ceramic plate. As I made the “gentleman” his cappuccino, I wondered at Aunt Judy’s sudden formality. She was flummoxed by his good looks, no doubt, and I had to admit that I wasn’t far behind. But in spite of his extraordinary features he was just a man, like any other, and for the past decade I’d been ignoring men with great success. This would be no different.

By the time his cappuccino was ready I was once again calm and composed, but when I handed over the drink our fingers touched, and I felt the warmth of his skin on mine. I automatically pulled away. “Enjoy.” I swallowed and glanced up, surprised to see him staring straight at me.

His blue eyes bored into mine and his smile was tender. “Thank you. I’m sure you’re a fabulous barista.”

I shook my head vigorously. “Actually, I don’t consider myself a barista.”

His brow furrowed. “Why is that?”

“Well, I have no formal training. The espresso machine does all of the work.”

He sipped at the cappuccino and nodded with pleasure. “This is delicious, and you’re definitely a barista. I should know. I’ve had a lot of espressos in a lot of places.”

My heart swelled. “Thank you. That’s very kind.”

Aunt Judy rang up his total on the cash register; he paid with a ten-dollar bill, told her to keep the change and carried his coffee and muffin to a small round table next to the Christmas tree by the front window.

When he was out of earshot Aunt Judy grabbed my wrist, pulled me down to her level and whispered, much too loudly. “Lordy, what a fine-looking man. I caught a whiff of his cologne and almost fainted. Do you see those clothes? He may be wearing jeans but they’re not from Target. That coat must be real leather.” She clucked her tongue and shook her head. “I’m not sure this town can handle him. I wonder what he’s doing here.”

I was equally curious but didn’t admit it. “He’s probably just passing through.” I thought of my sign along Highway 24 that urged drivers to take the half-mile detour into town for “Specialty Coffee Drinks, Confectionary Delights and Daily Lunch Specials. You’re Just Minutes Away From a Hot and Delicious Cup of Coffee!”

Our new customer perfectly fit the cliché of the “handsome stranger.” I watched him for a few minutes; he was staring out the window in deep thought, sipping his cappuccino and ignoring the blueberry muffin.